live.love.laugh.

Dagmara Almand

RESOURCES

Statistically 1 in 20 children are faced with the death of a parent before the age of 15
                                                                                            

5-7; 2010 013

When I first started researching I had no idea the statistics would be so high. My daughter would ask who else we knew whose daddy had passed away I didn’t have a clue. I have known many people who passed away over the years but no young daddy’s. I didn’t know what to say or who to ask. But I so desperately wanted her to know that she was not alone. That there were others without daddies.

I hope the pages in this section help you find help for a child you may know who is grieving. Children so often protect us from their grief with smiles and happy laughter even though they feel the sadness and fear of grief as fully as adults when someone close to them passes away. Whether it be a parent, a sibling, or a caregiver.

I am deeply saddened for those who carry the grief for years. Unable to live life to their fullest potential and to see the beauty and goodness around them. I have known that grief and  lived it  after my husband first past away.

I remember all too well telling people who did not know. The look on their faces, shock, pity, the “could this happen to me” look. I dreaded the looks. Then “the comment”  but you’re so young.

New playdates were the worst. I never wore the “widow” sign on my forehead. It is not my calling card. Yes, nice to meet you. My name is Dagmara and I am a widow. So new playdates were always a luck of the draw as to the topic of conversation. And when the topic was what husbands did for a living the question invariably turned to my husband as well.

It was the gusher question. The don’t ask me unless you have tissue nearby question. Unless you want to see my lip tremble and my eyes well up. But I have read, reflected, experienced. My eyes no longer gush. My late husband will always be a part of my life. But by the same token my parents will always be a part of my life, my brother will always be a part of my life, my grandmother. People share our lives. We love them. We want to hold on to them forever. So tightly. So undeniably. We cannot. Life is greater is bigger than just one person.

I have been so blessed to let go of that. To come to the realization that this path before me is a beautiful path but it is mine and that no matter how much I have loved another human being my path cannot forever be filled with a sadness I cannot overcome. The lessons I am here to learn only I can learn. No one else can learn them for me. One of those lessons was for me to learn how to let go. Truly let go yet hold on to the love I had shared and know that was a part of my journey without letting that be my future journey. Holding on to to the feelings but not letting the feelings hold on to me. Letting them be a beautiful part of me and sharing them without hesitation or sadness. Knowing that I can still love and be loved. Knowing that my heart will always be open to love even while being filled with love for those that have been in my life and moved on or for those who are in my life. For there are so many different types of love to share and grow in.

God bless!

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