live.love.laugh.

Dagmara Almand


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Choices?…

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I came across two stories recently that make such a poignant remark about life choices.

In the first a woman’s husband pocket calls her while on a date with his mistress. From the call she learns all she needs to.
So she decides to take her life back. She finds  e-mails between her husband and mistress and sends them to the mistress’ husband.  She confronts her husband with the affair and shows him downloaded proof. She wants to takes her life back. She wants to be strong.
They try therapy, conversations, family trips in hopes of saving their marriage. But she wants him to confess and make amends. He doesn’t. He is in love with his mistress. It’s over.
imagesThe other story starts out in much the same way.  A husband comes home and tells his wife he is having an affair. He no longer loves her. He is leaving her for his mistress. She gets mad, yells, and walks out of the room. That night they do not speak. She has time to think. She too makes a choice.  She wants nothing from him. Not his company. His money. His possessions.
She just asks that he put it off for one month.  Their son’s exams are coming up and she wants him to do well.
He agrees.
Then she asks for one favor. During that month could he remember the night they were married? How he carried her across the threshold? Could he humor her and carry her from the bedroom door to the front door like that for the month?
He agrees. For the sake of a peaceful month.
The walks are clumsy at first. Not knowing how to hold her. What to do. But they become progressively more intimate. The smell of her hair. The softness of her cheek. How long has it been since he has truly looked at this woman?savvy-quote-if-you-dont-like-your-life-make-better-choices
They don’t speak. Just walk.
She asks for nothing else. Puts no other conditions on their relationship. And so on the last day as he runs up the steps to his mistresses door and knocks the words “I am not getting a divorce” leave his lips.

There is no right or wrong choice in life. It is a choice. Our choices depend on our life experiences and what we believe will make us happy. Our choices will teach us life’s lessons.
You have to decide what makes you happy. What you’re willing to sacrifice. Which story you would rather be a part of. Which ending you want.
For me…whichever my story I want it always be filled with love. And without regrets.


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The Happiness Quotient

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The happiest countries?

Every year Forbes puts out a list of the top 140+ countries (95% of the global population) and ranks them on a happiness scale (http://www.forbes.com/sites/christopherhelman/2013/01/09/the-worlds-happiest-and-saddest-countries-2/).

Every year Denmark, Norway, and Sweden are at the top of the list.
What makes these countries stand out?

What makes a difference?

All happy people need the basics. Food, clothing, a roof over their heads, no government turmoil, medicine, adequate water, hospitals, and  schools.The basics give us a hope for the future.

If the basics are there happiness comes from a way of life and an upbringing that fosters social experiences over excessive wealth and an abundance of personal experiences over an abundance of “stuff.”

So… what makes people happy?

It sounds silly to say that. Spending time together instead of buying stuff makes people happy. It seems obvious.

But spending time together is more than just being under the same roof. It’s about family time or time with true friends as kids play together, running around the house chasing and being loud (being kids). Getting together and participating in life’s activities with those who make our hearts happy. From an early age it’s about being included and growing up in a variety of social experiences. Not being left behind as your parents go out and play.

I remember going to friends’ houses, having people come over, or spending time at the local disco (not like american bar) I didn’t stay home with a nanny. I went out too. Walking from table to table amongst my parents’ friends asking for change for the juke box for “just one more song” made me feel included. Kids learn from what we teach them about socializing and their importance in our lives. Learning from an early age about interpersonal communication and the enjoyment of social experience from participating in those experiences helps make us happy adults.

What the experts say?

USA today says the happiest people surround themselves with family and friends, don’t care about keeping up with the Joneses next door, lose themselves in daily activities and, most important, forgive easily (http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2002-12-08-happy-main_x.htm).

Balance

It’s all about balance. We are a nation of individualists. Free thinkers and innovators.

I love that. Free thinking and innovation is key to development and taking the road less traveled (Frost). But when does individualism conspire against us?

Have your own ideas and follow your own path. But remember to surround yourself with true friends who inspire. To communicate so true friendships arise. To forgive and forget and not care about the Joneses.

Our value comes from our humanity. Not from our pocket books. Our ability to inspire comes from our soul and not from the size of our house or the logo on our car. Remembering this makes it is easier to share out thoughts. Our ideas. To be willing to say“this is who I am!”

And remember… what you teach your kids today about themselves, society, laughter, and the beauty of life is what they will share tomorrow.

So, next time you get hurt just forgive!

And next time you compare yourself to the achievements of your neighbors why don’t you invite them over for dinner and see what they have to offer the world under all that stuff filling their house. They might surprise you with what truly makes them happy!


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About me

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…welcome to my blog.

Life is full of unexpected changes. Changes measured by experience and  attracted by fate/ adversity. Experiences that have shaped our future. The impact of those experiences is defined solely by the ability of our imagination.

The biggest change in my life happened three and a half years ago when my husband died unexpectedly of a heart attack at 34 and life would never be the same.  There would be no more loving conversations, gazes, no more soft and tender kisses. My true best friend for life was gone. That future was changed forever. That’s the part that was hardest to come to terms with. The knowledge that life moving forward would be without him and his love.

It took a great deal of self-reflection and self-conversation about the true value of life to move on. To realize that life comes from inner happiness and knowing the treasure every day is what you do with the time between going to bed and waking up. That it is solely up to you!

I have been so blessed in my life. To live it from a place of happiness!

That’s why I started the All Love Always charity.  I want  children who have lived through loss to find a way to live in a place of happiness and beauty. Grief is a natural part of loss but seeing the beauty and joy in the world and experiencing that is what it’s all about! Life is about living and moving forward. It’s about loving every moment you are alive and sharing that love. For me it’s the value of humanity that holds the strongest bonds of why we are here. The value of laughter, friendships, seeing the beauty of the world and what it has to offer.

Death is a reminder of how truly preciouse life is. How beautiful it is. How every moment is to be lived fully. Without hesitation.

It is better to live and make mistakes than not do anything!
To experience and to feel. Not to be numb and protected from life. The journey is in the living to the fullest. And in sharing life from a place of true love with those around us. Life is too short to hold grudges, to dwell on what others think, or to be stuck in a place of  no.
I believe in loving deeply and having the courage to throw caution to the wind.
And in making the world better. Putting a smile on someone’s face today for tomorrow is never guaranteed!

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What brings me the most joy?…

First and foremost I am a mom…
I love my daughter and schedule work life so that mine is the first face she sees outside her classroom door and kisses goodnight
I love deeply passionate people who never say no to any possibility
I love the All Love Always charity and the great potential it has to help kids

I don’t believe in labels and although you could call me a widow I prefer being thought of as a person, a woman, a girl, and a liver of life…

Please take a moment to support the charity and like us on Facebook 🙂

Have a beautiful day and enjoy it to the fullest!